Yoga Sundays

So I've been working out every day (I count yoga Sundays) for the last two months and I have gabs (almost).  With a crazy looking body I've found, expectedly, that I would feel the need to show off.  This however has put a damper on my "don't fuck every pretty thing you see- thon" and I have had my self control tested... to its limits.  Glad to say I'm not a whore yet.  I just realize I need to find a hot redhead to start a relationship with... or a hispanic person.... either would do it for me right now.  I'm going to try and focus on my music right now... that, and my French.  Maybe I'll go to France for a while after I graduate... yup.  Gotta go!

Lost Season

Hmmmm....
For the first time in.. I'd say a decade, I feel lost.
I'm very content with what I've been able to accomplish... but I've just realized I've changed my major 3 times and I almost did it again this week.  I have 3 Associate degrees yet no Bachelors. I just accepted that I am lost.  Seems so strange for me to admit.  Still, life is always increasing in joy and maybe I should just go with the flow.  Maybe I'm scared to go into a new stage in my life.  Not quite sure what it is... Although it feels good.  Makes me feel young(er).  I've also started dating again.  I feel like I'm ready to accept a partner in my life.  So far it's been really fun, but I've been in long relationships with such wonderful people that I'm pretty sure I know exactly what I want.  I've also decided to stop dating women, the main reason being I'm too scared of knocking someone up... but also, I just haven't had a relationship last more than two months with a woman, so I take it that I just am not as into them as I should be.  This time around if a guy tells me he loves me while I'm doing him or if he says he feels protected with me (when really they're mistaking my "protective..ness" with a weird paranoia I have. lol) I won't automatically end the relationship.  I'll just continue and accept the aura of awkwardness when the whole "love" conversation comes up.  I haven't fallen in love with anyone in over two years, and I know that I will not settle just to be with someone.  I do not have the NEED to be in love or have "loving" feelings inside of me.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  I love my god.  I am extremely happy pretty much every day.  But I am finally allowing myself the opportunity to find some sort of weirdo that has the ability to entertain and stimulate me long time. Hahaha.
I feel like the little train that keeps chugging along. Is that what trains do? Chug?? Eh. My brain is fried.  I can't wait for Spring Break!  :)

Perfection < Fucked Up

So I watched a movie with a gay friend yesterday.  Wilmer Valderrama was in it.  Something about him immediately turned me on.  I thought about it for a moment and realized it was that his physical features were not really even.  His scruff was a bit more sparse on one side of his cheek than the other; his hair, like it had not been taken care for a while.... Then I remembered being with an ex, him lying on my chest, and me being completely in awe how beautiful the dandruff on his hair was.  His skin died and shed, and he didn't give a fuck, and neither did I.  In fact, it advanced my loving feeling towards him.  I kissed the top of his head.  He was human, and he was mine.  Back to my point... I always found Mario Lopez to be too put together and plastic, and well, unattractive.  Wilmer Valderrama on the other hand, he seems like the kind of guy (based on his appearance in this movie) that would not take 15 min primping and pruning after we put our clothes on to get out of the gym (like all of the guys I work out with do).  He'd be ready, when I'm ready.  I'd find him hot as fuck and would not be annoyed at his idea of being an attractive man.  The ideals that most men hold on beauty, for better or worse, I do not.  Now... to find someone with that same want in a man, that actually has goals in his life.........hmmmmm......

The Grocery Store

(Maybe just Sprouts)... is the best place to meet people.  Going on a date with a guy who made the most retarded joke about shiitake mushrooms while we both bagged some. Hehe... good thing he's good looking.  The least I'll get out of it is an aesthetically pleasing person to disfigure in a portrait :-)